Update

 So I abandoned round 56 which was just DMPS 2.5 mg because I developed a rash. I don’t know if it is from DMPS or not so I thought it’s better to be safe then sorry. As a rash is an indication before a big allergic reaction.

I have to admit I am not well. I have slipped back quite a lot in the last 8 weeks or so. In the mornings I wake up and I feel like I could fall out of bed with the on a boat feeling and I feel slightly spinny. I have constant head pressure. It also feeling like there is a bucket of water in my head and it sloshes from side to side. I am also unbalanced and it’s hard to walk around. 

I am making plans to go up north for my mum to look after me as I am struggling doing chores. I have a little dog and I haven’t been able to walk him every day. 

I am going to look into mould as another culprit as there has been a little bit of a musky smell in my apartment but I can’t see any mould. 

It had been an emotionally charged time frame as I thought I would be a lot better by now. But other people have relapsed and taken about two years to come well so maybe I am one of them. I am feeling quite alone but it’s not company which makes me feel better. I am alone even more when I am around people as I am in a deep illness and discomfort and they are not. Every day is a struggle, I can never get comfortable. I am suffering greatly. I have been able to draw and listen to audible books and that’s basically the only thing getting me through the day. Last week my doctor said I have insulin resistance. I am also in the process of applying for disability but drs are unhelpful so I doubt I will get it. 

Being this sick for so long kinda reminds me of a donkey with a carrot stuck in front of it. Me being the donkey and the good happy life without pain and discomfort is the carrot, right there infront of me, but no matter how hard I push onwards it always remains out of reach. 

I have ordered some DMSA so I will take that with the Ala instead of DMPS for awhile. It will not arrive for a week or two. 

Will update soon and hopefully with better news. 

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